I was walking home from the subway and thinking about if I wanted to blog tonight. Did I have anything to blog about?
I walked past a billboard for New Chapter Organics, which makes the best probiotic known to human.
I’m turning 30 next month.
Truthfully, those last two statements are unrelated. I had a bit of a quarter-life crisis when I turned 25, and I wouldn’t have been surprised to stare one down turning 30. But I think I”m in a better place. I read Ali’s post from this morning and chatted with Dori about it. My 10-year plan when I was 19 saw me as editor-in-chief of a magazine and married by now. Nineteen-year old Theodora was wrong.
But nineteen-year-old Theodora was wrong about a lot of things (please see: calories consumed while drinking beer do not contain calories), and she didn’t have a magic ball.
I’m not one to regret things, but if I could change one thing in life, I would have moved to NYC immediately following college. I was unhappy in D.C. for a long time and staying there an extra three years after college didn’t do me any favors.
I put high expectations on myself; sometimes I meet them, sometimes I don’t.
I haven’t checked off all the boxes in life I thought I would by the time I turned 30…and I’m okay with that.
There’s some stuff I’m working through, but I’m happy with what I’ve accomplished so far. Stuff that was never in my life plan. Stuff that came up out of nowhere, blindsided me, and ended up being awesome. (Um, starting this blog?!)
I don’t know yet if I believe those people that say YOUR 30S ARE THE BEST EVER! but I’m ready.
I let go of some stuff this morning and made room to truly enjoy my Cosmo article being tweeted out.
Cosmoplitan Freaking Magazine tweeted me. With a story I wrote. With my before and after picture.
There were a few small things I missed in the last round of edits that I wish now I could change, and I’m still not crazy about the headline…but I wrote an article for Cosmo. That’s awesome. It’s time to drop the worries about those things and bask in this moment.
As the article documented, when I started this blog, I wasn’t the happiest. I lost weight and changed my life, and now I’m still working through some stuff, but I’m still happier than I was before I started all this. Happier, but not as carefree. (But still silly sometimes!!)
But that comes with age, right? (The less carefree, not the silliness. I’ll never lose the silliness. Promise.)
The problems my friends and I have now are more serious as we get older–but our successes are that much sweeter, too. I find my friendships becoming more intense as we go through these highs and lows together.
My parents aren’t getting younger. My dad is having surgery tomorrow. (Please say prayers or send good thoughts for him!)
This is what’s important to me now. Those deep friendships. Those deep relationships with my family. That relationship with myself. My blog has become a ton more introspective in the past year, somewhat unconsciously. That’s fine. That’s where I am right now. I’m training for a half-marathon, too. The running posts will be back, I promise.
In that awkward moment where I tie it all back to the title: it’s my new chapter in life.
When did you find a new chapter in life? Do you get really introspective approaching big birthdays, too? No? Just me?